


Dictionary of the Dead

by Sternstunde



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: After season one, Choking, Gen, Self-Harm, Tags may be added, Time Travel, bc god knows he's seen some shit, being dead does this to u and ur medium sibling, god rly does, im probs gonna include vanya and klaus bonding bc book writing club needs t o happen, its like not in detail and for a few scenes but still, kinda a writer!klaus fic, kinda of a fix-it still thinking, luther is not a complete idiot in this but like dont expect him to be better in just 3 chapters, seriously five just needs coffee, theres no incest in this fic, ust klaus and ben behaving like creepy twins
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-21
Updated: 2019-06-02
Packaged: 2020-01-23 15:38:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 17,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18552718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sternstunde/pseuds/Sternstunde
Summary: They all traveled back in time to stop the apocalypse and maybe get some sibling bonding done whilst they were at it.Klaus traveled back in time to learn how to deal with his fears.He just didn't expect that dealing with his fears meant writing a book about the deaths of the ghosts that haunted him.-Or Klaus writes a book about all the ghosts he encounters, thus facing his fears, and maybe the worst one of them all as well:Ben's death.





	1. Geist

He only notices the scribbles on the walls after two weeks in the past, when he finally takes a look at his old room. They always have been a part of his room, so he didn’t pay them much attention and just continued to do his stuff, like trying to stay sober, instead of running to the next drug dealer. It wasn’t exactly easy, but the perks of being in the past were, that Ben was alive now and kept an eye on him, knowing just how Klaus’ brain worked. Ben has never blamed him for turning to the drugs though - no, he has blamed him for letting them take over everything he was, for breaking all the promises he made. Klaus couldn’t fault him for being a bit paranoid about it.

 

Still, Ben being alive again was…unexpected. Later, Five explained to them, that it only made sense, since they all took over the bodies of their younger selves, and if Ben followed them, it wouldn’t stop him from doing the same, even if he had nobody in the present time. It was kind of fucked up that they basically stole their younger selves’ lives, but hey, shit happens.

 

Anyway, Ben being alive has left them quite in a shock and after making sure that he was really alive - and not just a fucked up joke from the time-travel - they spent like two hours only hugging him, patting his head and all the ways to reassure themselves and him that he was there, and they weren’t just imagining it. Seriously, the next mornings were spent running (or spatial jumping or whatever it was called in Five’s case) to Ben’s room to see if he was still there.

 

And he was.

 

_He was there every morning._

 

Still, they couldn’t just focus on Ben all the time, after all, they had to focus on Vanya as well and that without raising their father’s suspicions. Vanya wasn’t exactly happy when she woke up, but she was calmer than before (which was probably the pills’ effect on her current body) and listened. She apologized to Allison because that’s something she really regretted, but stayed far away from Luther. After talking they all came quickly to the realization, that Vanya needed training. A lot of it too, because that old bastard couldn’t be bothered to search for better ways to train his kids. Five, Allison and Diego would take care of her training the most time.

 

Then came the other concerning the problem they had.

 

Their bastard of a father.

 

They really couldn’t risk him knowing that they knew Vanya had powers or stopped taking her pills, and honestly, him finding out about them being from the future was also not really a safe option, considering they didn’t know how the hell he would react to that.

 

So, obviously, they had to follow his orders, go on stupid missions and probably the worst, participate in their training - Klaus wasn’t really excited about that part. But it’s not like he couldn’t attend. He just was happy, that for some reason, he still hadn’t any extra training. Probably, because he promised Ben and Five that he would actually try to behave. Also, he wasn’t high all the time, so maybe because of that. His father probably saw it as him trying to accept his powers or something. Not really, but he wouldn’t tell him that.

 

They had a lot going on, which is why he only paid the scribbles attention two weeks later. They just finished training, and the old asshole decided to give them some time to play around for once, so everyone went ahead and did something. Vanya, Allison, and Five went to train, Diego decided to help Mom out, Luther vanished into his room to build another one of those wooden planes, whilst Ben decided to go to the library. Usually, Klaus would follow Ben, as the two still felt weird at being able to go their separate ways. Which is why they probably should distance themselves from each other, but in the end, they tried, and it lasted for like 3 days, which was enough for them to come to the conclusion, that neither of them minded being near each other all the time that much. Two sides of the coin, that’s just the way they were now.

 

Their siblings still had to get used to it, because as kids those two weren’t that close. Yes, they did talk a lot with each other, due being the only two who hated their powers, but Ben was always closer to Five and Vanya. And well, Klaus was surprisingly also close to Five, but he spent more time with either Allison or alone getting high on something (or trying to hide away from the ghosts).

 

So, their siblings still had to get used to them being inseparable and to the fact, that Ben wasn’t that quiet anymore. He used to be so shy back then, but death (and being with Klaus all the time) has changed him in an entertaining way. He talked back, didn’t take anyone’s shit and still commented on a lot to Klaus. Except now everyone else heard it as well. Currently, he was trying to get rid of that habit and they all were just happy he somehow still didn’t say something to their dear old daddy. Klaus bet that wouldn’t have gone well.

 

But today he decided to go to his room, instead of following Ben. He felt way too tired to keep quiet in the library and Klaus’ wasn’t an asshole. He knew Ben loved to read in the silence, so he didn’t want to ruin that for him.    

 

As he arrived in his room though, he laid down on the bed and tried to ignore all those damn ghosts screaming whatever they wanted at him. It was times like those, that made him miss the drugs. But oh well, he promised. And he meant it this time.

 

As he was about to doze off, he turned to the side and noticed the writings. They’ve been there for such a long time, he forgot when he started carving them in. They’ve faded a bit but were still readable. He was sure, if they were in the future, they wouldn’t be that readable anymore.

 

_Stabbed five times… jumped off the roof… shoved of the stairs…_

 

All the things ghosts used to tell him. Well, at least the ones that could. The ones that couldn’t don’t do much besides screaming extra loud, when he talked with someone else than paying attention to them. _Please,_ they asked for it with the way they behaved.

 

So, he kind of used to carve down the way some ghosts died on his bedroom’s wall, in hope to get them off his mind. It really sounded fucked up when he thought about it now. But well, he was a kid. A thirteen-year-old kid, that could see the dead and who was locked into a mausoleum once in a while. Yay, childhood experiences!

 

Now, where he thought about it.. it was a funny pastime activity.

 

Which probably sounded even more fucked up than the rest, but he couldn’t lie about it. It really kept him busy, and yes, he wasn’t the most patient person ever, but he also never could bring himself not to take his time writing down things for the dead. The dead made him more patient then he’d like to admit.

 

_“Klaus…”_

 

The voices kept getting louder as he thought, and he really couldn’t ignore them anymore. So, he turned his head to the other side and met the eyes - or well, lack thereof - of a ghost. God, that was the sixth one that was missing eyes, that he has seen since he was stuck in his 13-year-old body again.

 

“You okay there, buddy?” he asked.

 

The ghost didn’t seem as bad as most of the others, so he decided that he could try. Ben would be so proud of him for trying, instead of going back to the drugs.

 

_“Help… please… Klaus… help…”_

 

“I fear I can’t help you there, buddy. You’re kind of… how should I say it… dead?”

 

Klaus sighed. Maybe he shouldn’t have tried, the ghosts were only getting louder now. He was about to just give up and go to the library or someone else, in hope that talking with them would drown out the ghosts (as if that ever properly worked before), but then - to his utter surprise - the ghost with no eyes said something else.

 

_“... I… I feel so lonely…”_

 

And really, he could have ignored the ghost and walked his merry way, like he always did, but nowadays he just kept wondering where he went wrong.

 

Of course, a part of it was the mausoleum.

 

But what was the rest?

 

And before he knew it, Klaus was sitting up and reaching a hand out to the ghost’s hand. He stopped, his hand hovering in the air, shaking visibly. What was he doing?

 

What wasn’t he doing?

 

**_“Why don't you try!”_ **

 

Ben always used to scream at him.

 

So, he reached out and touched the ghost and before he knew it, colors flashed before him, drowning him in their hues.

 

_“Stop it!”_

 

_A girl with long brown hair, cut horribly. A girl with nice brown eyes._

 

_A girl with eyes._

 

_“Let me go! P-please!”_

 

_Someone held her arm tightly, and dragged her away, uncaring about all the scraps she got, about how her dress was getting dirty and filled with tears._

 

_“Let me... be! I’m sorry!”_

 

_She somewhat reminded him of himself._

 

_And then she was strapped on a table, a guy with a knife above her, looking at her eyes._

 

_What the hell?_

 

_“N-no! S… stop!”_

 

_And Klaus reached out, screaming himself, “stop! Stop!”_

 

_And then he stood up, ready to run to her rescue and-_

 

-And jumped up, eyes wide.

 

“Y-you can’t do this!”

 

“... K-Klaus?”

 

He gazed to his side, his heart beating fast, and met the gaze of Ben.

 

“Are you okay?”

 

Five was also there.

 

And then something moved to his right, so he turned his head, and the ghost from before stared at him. Something was leaking out her eyes, and he wondered if that’s how she cried.

 

“I’m sorry,” he muttered, unsure how to feel after seeing that.

 

“Klaus?”

 

It had to be a memory. There was no way he could have imagined those scenarios, those fucking _feelings_ \- it had to be a memory!

 

And then he saw her hand on the carvings on the wall, tracing them. Why the carvings?

 

“Klaus, can you hear me?”

 

Ben and Five, right.

 

“Yeah, sorry about…,” he trailed off upon seeing the book Ben was clutching in his hands.

“A story.”

 

The girl was now staring right at him, her hand still on the wand.

 

“You… you have a story to tell?”

 

She nodded gently.

 

That’s a first. A ghost - besides Ben, of course - looking gentle to him.

 

And suddenly he remembered Vanya. Vanya and her autobiography.

 

Maybe, just maybe, this could work. Not a full-fledged autobiography, because what the fuck, he’s 13 and he’d like to keep the fact that he sees dead people as low as possible, but he has an idea.

 

So, he sits up, only to be stopped by a hand on his shoulder.

 

“Klaus?”

 

And now Five’s getting curious, and how the fuck is he supposed to evade Five’s questions because he would love to start on the writing as fast as possible, _but Five._

 

But he probably has lucked out, because Ben and he share a connection. A weird connection, but it’s there, so, Ben looks at him and _just knows,_ that there’s something that Klaus has to do. That he _must_ do.

 

With that knowledge, he holds onto Five and says, “let’s go.”

 

Five looks with confusion at his other sibling before he sighs out and turns to Klaus.

 

“Don’t do anything stupid.”

 

And then both leave his room and he sighs in relief. He knows it’s not the end, Ben will probably come back later and Five definitely wants to know what’s going on, but for now… he really needed to start with this. He grabbed his headphones, trying his best to ignore the ghosts’ screaming, and sits down at his table, as he grabs paper and pens.

 

And he writes.

 

It fucking sucks, he won’t lie. He makes so many mistakes, crosses out so many words and full sentences, only to rewrite them like 500 times. He wonders about grammar, wonders about maybe giving it to someone, who could read it for him and correct his spelling, but then he remembers he doesn’t know anyone, except his siblings, his mother and maybe Pogo, who would and the ones that would shouldn’t read this because he’s writing what is essentially the way a ghost died. A ghost of a little girl with missing eyes, it’s definitely no pretty story.

 

Time passes and he finally finishes. He considers giving it the ghost to read, wonders if she can read, but then realizes that she kept staring at him and the scribblings on the wall, so maybe she does. And he lets her read it after she tugs at his shirt - and gives him almost a heart attack - and Klaus realizes one thing.

 

It’s quiet. It’s so fucking quiet, for once, he almost doesn’t know how to feel.

 

But the ghost nods her head, turns to him and manages to smile. And wow, he really does feel like a fuck-up upon seeing that smile. And she lets the paper on the table and…

 

… she just vanishes? Like, she’s not fully gone, mind you, he can feel her somewhat. But she is also not fully there, it feels as if she was fading.

 

_What. the. Hell?_

 

He looks at the paper with more mistakes, than all his siblings combined could do and wonders.

 

Was it really that simple all the time?

 

* * *

 

They read it’s really simple.

 

_“I don’t want this...,” the girl mumbles, looking up at the guy grinning down at her, knife in his hand._

 

_“W-why…?”_

 

_And he grins only more, his eyes full of crazy. Oh, she knows then, in that very moment._

 

_She won’t make it out alive._

 

They wonder.

 

Why are they still here? They long have known, that they aren’t alive. They long have forgotten all their reasons for staying. They don’t know why they remain.

 

And then they look at the guy before them, at _Klaus_.

And maybe that’s why. Oh.

 

The realization is silent, as is their exit.

It’s time to rest for a while, they have screamed for far too long.

 

* * *

 

The ghosts start to scream once again when he feels her vanish completely, but he finds, that he doesn’t mind it very much at the moment.

 

There’s a song he really likes, playing out of his headphones, and the paper’s still there. He searches for a map, before putting it in.

 

He just signed his own fate, changing time in a way no one else did, and he doesn’t know.

 

He’s tried, but for a very short moment, he’s also at peace.

 

* * *

 

**ghost**

_noun_

  1. **_the soul of a dead person, a disembodied spirit imagined, usually as a vague, shadowy or evanescent form, as wandering among or haunting living persons._**
  2. _**a mere shadow or semblance; a trace: **He's a ghost of his former self._



 

 

 

 


	2. Leben nach dem Tod

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Klaus has an one-sided conversation.

Klaus knew Ben’s going to ask. That’s why he was hiding in the bathroom currently, praying to anyone but God - that irritating, little girl - that Ben would let it slide. Seriously, he wasn’t sure how he was going to explain this to him. _Hey! I decided to write a book, yeah, let’s forget all the times I made fun of y’ all for reading books._

 

Which was an asshole move, he knew, but he always prided himself in being a little shit. That was kind of his trademark behavior. _Klaus, the little shit._ It fit, damn it. _It just did._ So, now he was sitting on the bathroom floor, for once not in the bathtub and waited for the moment, where Ben was going to find him because Klaus wasn’t stupid. God, everyone knew that he was most likely to be in the bathroom, if not in Ben’s or his own room. After all, pretty much every room in this damn mansion was haunted, but the difference was that he could switch the light on in his room or the bathroom. He couldn’t do the same thing in the other rooms, except maybe his siblings, but they would definitely fry him for breaking into their rooms. As for the other rooms, their dad would find out if he just attempted to go into one of those rooms. It wouldn’t end well for him. Not at all.

 

Instead, he stayed in the bathroom, thinking about everything that happened that day. It was more safe and important. Because he needed to know, if the missing-eyes-lady was only a fluke, and he could throw away the whole book writing thing. But for that, he would probably need to talk with another ghost, and he really didn’t feel like it. Especially, since he still could feel her presence. It was fading more and more. He knew she would go by the end of the day.

 

It made him somewhat sad. He didn't really understand why.

 

The feeling of peace he had before was gone now and all he heard were a thousand voices, trying to make him deaf. _Ghosts were so annoying._

 

There’s one thing Klaus didn’t think of though.

 

And that was, that maybe Ben wasn’t the only one to seek him out.

 

There’s a bright light and Five was standing before him.

 

“Here you are, of course,” he muttered and Klaus wanted to slap himself for forgetting that Five was there as well before. That he got curious, and God, a curious Five was always a bad thing. Because that annoying little old man would do anything to get his answers. Which meant that Klaus couldn’t evade this, couldn’t think it over anymore, because Five demanded answers. Okay, he probably could try something, but he wasn’t sure if that would work out well, and honestly, _he knew_.

 

He knew he had to tell someone.

 

His obvious choice was Ben, but since Five was here and definitely not letting go of it, he might as well tell Five about it.

 

“So,” Five drawled out, sitting down beside him, “are you going to talk?”

 

Of course, that little shit expected him to tell him without any protest. That just made him feel more tempted to protest, but well, he was tired. So, he said the first thing that made sense to him.

 

“I’m going to write a book.”

 

Beside him, Five stilled, before blinking a few times.

 

“You - _what?”_

 

It was satisfying to see the other so surprised.

 

“You heard me, I’m going to write a book.”

 

“What… what in the hell?”

 

Klaus rolled his eyes before sighing.

 

“Oh, you wound me, brother dearest. Wasn’t I forward enough?”

 

Five shook his head, before closing his eyes.

 

“Maybe all those sleepless nights are finally getting to me.”

 

Klaus frowned at that. Five’s sleeping habits were really worrying, and they all tried to get him to sleep properly, but he would spend every night awake anyway (that Klaus knew this because he himself couldn’t sleep well at nights wasn’t important at the moment).

 

“So, why… why do you want to write a book?”

 

And that’s what Klaus always liked about Five.

 

Yes, he was always a big asshole, but the thing is, unlike some of their other siblings, Five actually listened. He didn’t share much information and he teased him about all kinds of shit, but Five cared. It was subtle and you wouldn’t notice immediately, but Five listened when he had to say something, and if he found it to be serious enough, he’d try to help. He has always been like that and Klaus is grateful for that, because without Five his childhood would have been really a lot worse.

 

“Well, I tried… I tried to talk to a ghost yesterday.”

 

And he knew he has the other’s attention now because it was unusual for Klaus to talk about his powers, every one of the siblings knew that. Heck, Klaus avoided talking about them and it has always confused them as to why (he didn't know that Ben explained it to them, and that's the reason they stopped asking).

 

“I reached for the ghost because she seemed just so in pain? I felt horrible for ignoring her… so, yeah, I reached out and then…”

 

“And then?” Five’s voice sounded softer, and when Klaus looked at him, everything about him seemed more gentle. Five was an asshole, but he was a brother above that.

 

“I saw her… memories, I think? The way she died.”

 

And he knew time stopped for a moment for Five. Five, who always rushed through time.

 

But Klaus also knew Five was not going to say anything because Five has the emotional capacity of rock most of the times and feelings were a foreign concept to him. As were hugs. At which Klaus had to pout because hugs were amazing. Anyway, Five wasn't going to say anything, so Klaus continued.

 

“There a scribbles on my wall, about like dead people and she kept looking at them - I still don't know how, considering she has no fucking eyes, but hey, judgmental free zone and stuff - so I thought to myself, that maybe, writing it down would be a good idea.”

 

Then he stopped talking, thought and remembered. Her death was still so vivid to him.

 

“And it was,” he mumbles. “It was a good idea.”

 

It was silent for someone seconds before Five stood up.

 

“And you're going to try it out again?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

Five looked at him, just _looked_ , before he sighed.

 

“Tell Ben about this.”

 

And then he vanished and honestly? Klaus was grateful he did.

 

* * *

 

After this Klaus left the bathroom because he really hadn't any more reasons to stay there. The talk - more like a one-sided conversation - with Five helped him calm down and now he was on his way to find Ben, wherever he was.

 

He ended up finding someone else.

 

In the hallway, he met Vanya, who was clutching her violin case. Klaus wasn't sure how she felt about seeing him, but he promised he'd try this time.

 

“Hello, darling sister of mine. How has your day been going?”

 

To be honest, he was probably on thin fucking ice. Vanya stopped taking her pills, and well, a Vanya off pills was a Vanya with emotions. And half those emotions were an annoyance at everyone. Even Five didn't get away from Vanya cursing his existence. Klaus readied himself from anything mean she might say.

 

“It went well. How has it been for you?”

 

Well, that wasn't what he was expecting. The last two weeks were spent getting cold comments on anything he did. She wasn't a bitch about it though, and even if she was, he couldn't really blame her for it.

 

“It was fine, surprisingly, actually! If I may say so, it was even a good day.”

 

But oh well, he didn't mind either way. It was nice talking to her. She was always one of the only ones, that didn't find his powers too weird (she also never understood why he didn't want them).

 

And bless the day, really - she smiled at his response.

 

He expected that it all would turn into awkward silence now, but today was really full of surprises.

 

“I'm going to my room to play. Do you want to come to listen?”

 

Her room.

 

 _Oh_.

 

Klaus knew what exactly this meant, so he grinned at her.

 

“Sure! Your playing has always been lovely to listen to.” _Has always scared the ghosts away._

 

Both of them spent the rest of their break there. Ben could wait a bit more. He would understand.

 

Except maybe why exactly Klaus was the first one besides Ben - because you can't exactly blame your dead brother - to be forgiven by Vanya.

 

It's as Vanya finished her first piece, that Klaus could feel the missing-eyes-ghost vanish, and with such a warmth that he couldn't stop the tears from forming.

 

“Klaus?”

 

“Thank you,” he whispered.

 

_Thank you for forgiving me. Thank you for being here. Thank you for letting me try._

 

Thank you for letting the ghost enter the afterlife or whatever it was, accompanied by such a beautiful melody, such a gorgeous sound, with anything _but those horrible screams._

 

“Your welcome,” she whispered back with warmth.

 

And Klaus wanted to try.

 

He just wanted.

 

* * *

 

 

**afterlife**

_noun_

  1. **_Also called [future life](https://www.dictionary.com/browse/future-life). life after death._**
  2. **_the later part of a person's life: _** _the remarkably productive afterlife of Thomas Jefferson._



 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that was chapter two. I don't have set schedule tbh, I'm like on vacation right now and school is going to start next week, so I have no idea how many times I'm gonna update. But my goal is to at least update once a week. Which is why I can't promise the chapters are going to be all the same length.
> 
> Vanya is mad in this fanfic, because there's no way she's just gonna be meek after getting off the pills. I know it's possible, but like have you seen her as kid in series? She can't return fully to that, I feel, but partially. She's also going to be the reason Luther will learn to change. As for why Klaus was forgiven so easily, well, you find out in one of the next chapters.
> 
> Which by the way, chapter 1-3 are going to be really set on introduction. Basically making y'all familiar with the concept of Klaus writing the stories. Chapter 4 is where they are going to start on trying to better the world and their relationship and all again. Also yes, chapter 3 is Ben and Klaus interaction, because that's the last step I need to make for the introduction to end.
> 
> By the way, the title of every chapter is a) in German and b) basically the translation of the word that is explained at the end of the chapters. Fun fact to this chapter's word: I thought about using _Jenseits_ but it's less direct to be honest, and also a more... loose term? Like you can understand a lot more under it than just afterlife. Which is why I decided not to use it.
> 
> Thanks for reading! Maybe leave a comment, you don't have to, but it is great motivation.


	3. Erwürgen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Klaus talks with Ben.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: There's self-harm and choking. I don't go much in detail, but still.

The thing is since Reginald has stopped monitoring them in their sleep - which by the way was so, so fucked up on many different levels - Ben and he shared a room. There's still a big chance the old man knew because Grace did check up on them and reported to him, the cameras were still installed there and that old man always knew about shit he shouldn't - like the fucking apocalypse.

 

Why exactly he didn't stop them, Klaus didn't know, but he assumed it was because of not having to hear him scream due to nightmares that much anymore.

 

Anyway, they shared a room most of the time, so when Klaus walked into his room, Ben was there, sitting on his bed, book in his hands but eyes on Klaus (and if he wasn’t there, Klaus would have left and gone to Ben’s room). Ben never went subtle on Klaus.

 

No, he went bold, Arial 72 on Klaus, because Klaus would downplay anything else than that.

 

“What the heck did happen before?”

 

There. Not even an ounce of hesitation in his voice, as he asked, because death has turned Ben into a snarky, little bitch, and to be honest, Klaus preferred this Ben. Not that he didn’t like shy Ben, it’s just that confident Ben actually cares about defending himself from anyone’s bullshit.

 

Klaus dropped down on the bed, besides his brother and sighed dramatically, as he stretched his arms.

 

“Life - no, death - has happened, Benny!” he exclaimed, turning to lie on his stomach.

 

Ben rolled his eyes at him, before closing his book and putting it away.

 

“I thought you would slap me with it.”

 

“I can still do it if you like.”

 

Brothers were _sooo_ annoying sometimes.

 

“You hurt my poor, poor heart.”

 

Ben grinned at that, and Klaus couldn’t help but copy him. It was always nice to see Ben happy, to be honest.

 

“Will you tell me now?”

 

He nodded, before thinking about how to start. Five and Ben needed a different approach to things, so Klaus wasn’t sure if he could start with the book thing. No, probably not. He had to be bold with Ben as well.

 

“I tried to talk with a ghost today and ended up seeing her memories.”

 

His brother narrowed his eyes at him.

 

“Memories?”

 

Ah, of course, he picked it up. Ben and Five were different in a lot of senses, but both were observant.

 

“... The way she died.”

 

“What… ?”

 

Klaus didn’t need to reply, the silence talked for him and Ben understood. Klaus was telling the truth. Suddenly, there was an arm over his shoulders, and he was caught in a side hug. Ben got him in no way anyone else could and Klaus was grateful, that they grew so close. He was just sad Ben had to die for them to interact more. But now he was alive again and well, Klaus was scared at the beginning. He was so sure Ben would be so sick of him because he was _Klaus._ Ben has spent over 10 years with him, had to see him overdose, to turn back to the drugs, to sell his body to the drugs. God, he had seen so much shit, has been ignored so many times by Klaus. It was so sickening, that sometimes, he couldn’t help but wonder, why Ben still preferred to hang out with him, still managed to hug him and reassure him.

 

Klaus didn’t deserve Ben, but he was damn grateful, that he still was here.

 

Now, that the scary facts were out and he got his well-deserved hug of the day, he could proceed to tell him about the book.

 

“Anyway, I’m gonna write a book.”

 

“A book?” Klaus could hear the unsaid, _You?_ And to be honest, he deserved that after making fun of Ben reading books when they were kids - well, in the past timeline.

 

“I wrote down the way the ghost died and she left.”

 

The hug got tighter, and Klaus knew, that was Ben’s own way of making sure he was safe or something. From what exactly, Klaus wasn’t sure, but he wasn’t going to be an asshole about it. Especially, not when Klaus did the same kind of things (like waking up at night, just to make sure Ben was still alive).

 

“But she didn’t leave normally? She kind of… passed on?”

 

“Wait, really?”

 

“Yeah! She kept fading the whole day until she left for real after I wrote her death down.”

 

And then Ben smiled at him, with such a proud vibe behind it, that Klaus really didn’t know how to respond.

 

“Can’t believe, all it took was you writing a book.”

 

“Me neither, brother dearest.”

 

“Maybe you shouldn’t have made fun of me as a kid then…”

 

“Hey! That was the past. _Literally._ ”

 

“Sure, sure…”

 

“Anyway! Vanya let me into her room today!”

 

“Wait, really? That’s great, Klaus!”

 

They kept talking and teasing each other until they fell asleep, and Klaus was so goddamn relieved. He was relieved everything ended up being okay, that maybe he could get rid of the ghosts.

 

* * *

 

The next day was hell.

 

Of course, any kind of happiness he had, couldn’t last forever.

 

The day started off normal, Ben and he woke up, washed and dressed before they made their way down to the dining area, where Five, Luther and Vanya already were. Vanya greeted them - which he replied to with a cheerful, _Hi!_ \- and even Five nodded at them. Luther was the only one, that said nothing and to be honest, he hasn’t been really kind the last two weeks. It wasn’t bad and he wasn’t an asshole (which is why he couldn’t understand why Ben kept glaring at Luther all the goddamn time, before looking at Klaus with a weird expression, whenever he asked Ben what was wrong) but he didn’t talk to any of them except Allison, Five and Diego, whenever they had a fight (they themselves called them arguments, but Klaus wasn’t sure if you could count trying to stab someone with a knife an argument).

 

Then Allison - who greeted Vanya happily - came down, followed by Diego who didn’t say anything. Klaus didn’t blame him, since being in his childhood body was hell for Diego. That body still didn’t have the stuttering under control, which pissed Diego off.

 

And then, the bastard came down and the moment he stepped a foot into the room, his gut was telling him that something bad would happen.

 

Klaus had an idea of what might happen and after they all finished breakfast, he was proven right.

 

“I shall meet everyone outside in half an hour,” he said, and then he gazed at him and Klaus knew where this was going. ”With the exception of Number Four. You stay behind. The rest is dismissed.”

 

Ben was clutching his hand, ready to speak up, but Klaus really didn’t want Ben to get in trouble. So, he clutched back for a moment, before letting go. Five noticed was going on, came over and packed Ben by his arm, before dragging him away.

 

Even Vanya gazed at him before she left.

 

“It’s been a while since extra training, Number Four.”

 

Two weeks without it was too much apparently.

 

And before he knew it, he was following his father to the mausoleum. In the past, he would have protested, but he knew better now. It would only make it worse.

 

“It’s time you get over your fear, Number Four. I await great results from you.”

 

Something was off. More than usual.

 

Then he was on the dirty ground of the mausoleum, knees probably scrapped and he could feel little rocks under his hands. The door got locked and everything was dark.

 

And then the voices started.

 

_“Help us… Klaus…”_

 

_“Help!”_

 

_“It’s yours… it’s…”_

 

_“Klaus!”_

 

_“Help… help… me”_

 

_“I deserve better!”_

 

_“Stop ignoring me!”_

 

_“It’s your fault… it’s…”_

 

_“Klaus!”_

 

_“... Klaus…”_

 

Hands over his ears, he prayed to anyone - even that little girl - that they would shut up. That they would keep quiet, but no one answered and the ghosts only got louder and louder, until he felt himself, pressed to the wall in that familiar corner. Why?

 

Just why?

 

They screamed and he cried, it’s fitting really.

 

**_1 hour_ **

 

He couldn’t stop crying. It’s so, so bad. The voices were so ear-piercing and it drove him crazy.

 

**_2 hours_ **

 

He’s sitting in the corner, rocking back and forth.

 

**_6 hours_ **

 

It’s been so long. He didn’t know the time, but it’s been so long. His father never left him in there longer than four hours. How long has it been?

 

How long?

 

**_9 hours_ **

 

Something felt so wrong. He scratched down his arms. It made him feel a bit calmer.

 

They still screamed so loud.

 

**_14 hours_ **

 

His nails were full of blood, his arms had some smeared over them.

 

It’s been too long.

 

His lips were dry.

 

God, it’s been _too long_.

 

**_16 hours_ **

 

He found a stone some time ago, so he was using it instead of his nails now.

 

It hurts.

 

_It hurts._

 

**_24 hours_ **

 

The ghosts were still screaming and he looked at them. Too loud.

 

A ghost stared back at him before it reached out.

 

He was scared.

 

He wasn’t scared.

 

He didn’t know.

 

He could feel his cold touch on his throat, pressing down.

 

He felt the air leave him.

 

_“Don’t do this to me, ple... Please…”_

 

_A young boy… in his room? On the bed._

 

_An elder mother - his mother? - above him, her hands on his throat._

 

_“S… sto…”_

 

_The woman didn’t stop._

 

_Not even when the boy didn’t move anymore, did she stop._

 

The hands on his throat lessen their hold, and he feels the rock in his hands.

 

He shoves the ghost away and turns to the wall.

 

And then he craves the memory in with a stone.

 

Because it’s all he can do now.

 

**_27 hours_ **

 

He has written 15 different memories down now, but all of them still were there.

 

Some were fading, but not everyone. By far not everyone.

 

Klaus was panicking.

 

Has it been too long?

 

**_37 hours_ **

 

The ghosts have stopped being so loud some hours ago.

 

But when Klaus looked at them, they still seemed like they were screaming.

 

**_38 hours_ **

 

Something was dripping down his throat.

 

_Oh no._

 

He reached up to touch his ear and then looked at his hand.

 

Blood.

 

_Oh fuck._

 

**_48 hours_ **

 

The ghosts started grabbing him.

 

He was hungry.

 

Maybe they were too?

 

**_49 hours_ **

 

He could still hear them.

 

Good.

 

**_50 hours_ **

 

One whole wall was covered in scribbles.

 

**_51 hours_ **

 

The door was open.

 

* * *

 

 

**strangle**

_verb (used with object)_

  1. **_to kill by squeezing the throat in order to compress the windpipe and prevent the intake of air, as with the hands or a tightly drawn cord._**
  2. **_to kill by stopping the breath in any manner; choke; stifle; suffocate._**
  3. **_to prevent the continuance, growth, rise, or action of; suppress_ _:_** _Censorship strangles a free press._



 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, mausoleum, yay!
> 
> I've moved up the warnings to Graphic Depictions Of Violence, because I'm not sure, how bad the mention itself is tbh. Like, I don't think I'm that detailed on it but a) it might get more detailed in future and b) some people really don't like the mention of an action of violence itself and that's fine. I'm just trying to give them a warning. If you feel like it's really harmless, just tell me.
> 
> The introduction arc is pretty much down now. Ben and Klaus talked? _Check._ Klaus got stuck in the mausoleum, wrote down the stories and realized it didn't work quite for everyone? _Check._ So, now's the question, what keeps them there, why won't they all leave?
> 
> Next chapter is pretty much a perspective on what the others did in those two days he was stuck in the mausoleum + a mad Ben and a really, really annoyed Five.
> 
> Have a nice day y'all!


	4. Gevatter Tod

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five worries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's no real trigger warning here, except Reginald continuing to be an asshole for a moment.

The moment their father sent them away, Five knew something bad was going to happen. He just wasn't sure what exactly, which was a worse thing, because how the hell could he deal with it, if he didn't know how it would affect the current timeline. The day where he would originally vanish still hasn't approached and he feared that he wasn't sure if this has happened in the last timeline or not - he's ashamed to admit, that he didn't pay much attention to Klaus’ extra training in the past. It always seemed like an off-topic, because Klaus never mentioned it.

 

But Ben was in his room shaking, grabbing his stomach and trying to stay calm and Five knew this didn't mean anything good.

 

The thing is, at the beginning they all had extra training.

 

But Luther was always loyal and ready to learn, so eventually, he didn't need special training anymore. Diego only had until he stopped missing _all_ his targets, after that he was off it. Allison wouldn't talk for days due to a sore throat after her extra training. A few years later Dad stopped training for her as well, having concluded his research on her powers.

 

That left only Ben, Klaus and him.

 

God knew, whatever the hell Ben's extra training was, it was bad and after a bad panic attack, a broken window and a hurt Ben, their father had the brain cells to stop Ben's extra training.

 

Then only Klaus and he remained.

 

Five knew he still had the training, because the spatial jumping still had a lot of potential (he scoffed at that, because Allison's powers also had more potential).

 

It was probably, because Klaus and he were the ones that didn't behave as well.

 

Extra training was always bad - he puked so, so many times, unable to lift his limbs, unable to _breathe_ \- because it was a way of making sure they behaved.

 

So, he tried to remember, when was the last time Klaus misbehaved in that timeline and realized, that so far he didn't. Then why would Reginald punish Klaus?

 

He came to the conclusion, that maybe it wasn't punishment this time.

 

Maybe it was really to test Klaus’ powers. But why? Why now?

 

And how the hell did he even test Klaus’ powers?

 

God, he never thought about it before, but how did someone go about testing powers like seeing the dead. An unwell feeling settled in his guts.

 

“Ben,” he spoke up, breaking the silence. “Ben, what is Klaus’ extra training.”

 

Ben looked up, frustration in his eyes. Five knew then, that he wasn't getting an answer yet.

 

“He has to tell you himself.”

 

And Five knew that, _but still_.

 

It’s when they were on the training fields that he got to observe their father - and the man wasn't paying as much attention as usual.

 

And now Five was worried for real.

 

Where the fuck was Klaus?

 

Training passed the slowest it ever did, and the others also started to worry, but before anyone could cave in and try to ask the old man - they were called in for a mission.

 

It was some stupid robbery in a store, followed by an interview (where they evaded the questioning of missing Number Four) and by the time they all came home it was time for dinner and then a study session.

 

And then Vanya came into his room and asked him where Klaus was, so both of them went to Klaus’ room to ask Ben.

 

And he was there, laying on the bed, ignoring the book he still hasn't finished.

 

Klaus was nowhere to be seen.

 

“You know,” Ben said, sitting up, “he's extra training was never longer than four hours.”

 

It's been around 18 hours now.

 

Ben didn't answer their question.

 

That never happened in the past timeline and Five wanted to scream.

 

* * *

 

The day they ate breakfast without Klaus and everyone was now more than worried.

 

After breakfast, Five had to stop Ben from saying something to the old man, because it definitely wouldn't help the situation.

 

Vanya was getting restless as well, and then Ben told him that she has forgiven Klaus.

 

Which meant she definitely was ready to haunt someone - that someone being their father - down for him, but they couldn't risk him finding out, so Five had to calm her down as well, which was difficult because she really didn't hold back with him. She was probably still mad over the time he left her apartment after telling her he would stay.

 

**_28 hours_ **

 

They had training outside, one hour after breakfast. Klaus always preferred training outside.

 

**_31 hours_ **

 

Lessons started. The first was history. One of the lessons Klaus paid attention to (and always mocked, if he actually had to pleasure to talk with a ghost from one of those eras).

 

Their father seemed a bit distracted. Not a good sign.

 

**_34 hours_ **

 

After biology was chemistry.

 

Klaus was good in both of those subjects.

 

Klaus was still missing.

 

Ben kept glaring at everyone.

 

Five slowly stopped trying to hold him back.

 

**_38 hours_ **

 

Their father kept staring at the clock.

 

Something shifted.

 

**_42 hours_ **

 

Five dragged Ben to his room.

 

They did nothing but sit in silence.

 

But then Ben jumped up.

 

“I can't take this anymore!”

 

And he stormed out the room, probably on his way to the old man's office and - and Five let him, because he was done.

 

The messed up timeline could wait, his brother has been missing for more than one day.

 

He followed Ben to the office and arrived exactly, as Ben spoke up.

 

“Where is Klaus?”

 

“That's unacceptable behavior, Number Six.”

 

“Where is he? Where is Kl-”

 

Five laid a hand on his shoulder, before starting at the old man.

 

“Where is Klaus?” He repeats the question but unlike with rage as Ben did. No, there was something cold in his undertone.

 

Reginald stared at them, before sighing.

 

“Number Four is undertaking special training, to improve his ability to see and interact with the dead, Number Five.”

 

_And interact._

 

“How exactly is he doing that?”

 

“Now, now. Your behavior has been quite imbecile, and it won't go unpunished the next day. Now hurry to bed.”

 

Five scoffed.

 

_Of fucking course._

 

Both left the room filled with even more frustration.

 

* * *

 

Number Four always had a lot of potential. It was just unfortunate, that he wasted it all on fears and poison.

 

But then, just as Reginald was about to give up on him, he changed.

 

And then Pogo came to him, telling him that the extra training has been paying up and Number Four managed to banish the ghosts.

 

It's been two weeks since extra training, so Reginald decided to see how far he could go if he went a bit further.

 

Two days in the mausoleum.

 

After 51 hours, Reginald decided that it was enough for now and time to check up on Number Four.

 

And as he opened the door, he wasn't sure what to make of what he saw.

 

A wall full of scribbles and Number Four's arms - and ears, if he saw correctly - full of blood.

 

“Num…,” he spoke up but trailed off when Four looked up, some blood on his face as well.

 

The boy blinked once, before standing up and dropping a bloody rock onto the ground.

 

Both stared at each other before the kid spoke up.

 

“You… you are going to die.”

 

One thought of it as a threat, the other knew it was a prediction.

 

“For your insolent attitude, I'll keep you here for a few hours longer.”

 

Then he stepped outside and locked the door again.

 

* * *

 

Klaus fell onto his knees and started laughing, the sound mixing in with the screaming of the dead, creating a melody of chaos.

 

This was for real, the word seemed so muted.  _This was for real._

 

The old man just sealed his fate.

 

Because Klaus, in all his timelines, has never lied to the dead.

* * *

 

In Klaus’ bedroom, Ben woke Five up.

 

“... Mausoleum.”

 

“What?”

 

“He keeps Klaus in the mausoleum for extra training…”

 

_“What the fuck?!”_

 

* * *

 

 

**Grim Reaper**

_noun_

  1. **_the personification of death as a man or cloaked skeleton holding a scythe._**



 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's word is Grim Reaper! Fun fact about the German title: Gevatter Tod is actually accurately translated as Godfather Death. The word comes from a tale by the Brothers Grimm (think of Snow White, Sleeping Beauty and Hansel and Gretel).
> 
> In the tale, a man has a 13th child and searches for a Godfather. The Godfather turns out to be Death. Funny is, that it would have been almost God, until the man realized that it was God and declined, reason being that, "God does not condone poverty." 
> 
> A more accurate translation for this chapter might have been _Der Sensenmann_ I guess. But there's another fact about the tale which made me chose Gevatter Tod. 
> 
> The number of the tale is 44.
> 
> Have a good day!


	5. Geheimnis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five, Ben, Vanya and Diego.
> 
> Four children search for Four.

The voices were muted.

 

Everything was blurry.

 

His throat was raw.

 

He felt like he was underwater, drowning in something.

 

What was the time?

 

How long since the bastard left him to rot in there?

 

How long?

 

_How long?_

 

* * *

 

Mausoleum.

 

How to train something like seeing ghosts? How to make your medium kid interact with ghosts? Of fucking course, close him in a place with a shitton of ghosts and ignore the fact that he’s scared shitless of them.

 

“Dad’s back,” mumbled Ben. Then he looked over at Five, silly hope in his eyes. “Do you think Klaus is back?”

 

“I hope so,” he mutters, even though he had still that unwell feeling in his stomach.

 

Both were still laying in Klaus’ room, waiting for their brother.

 

20 minutes passed and he Klaus didn’t walk in.

 

An hour passed and still no Klaus.

 

After two hours Ben started crying, having fully realized, that the bastard left Klaus in the mausoleum. Upon hearing him cry, Five realized one thing at that moment.

 

They were going to fuck up the timeline anyway.

 

It was already fucked up, considering this didn’t happen in the last timeline.

 

“Come on, Ben,” he said, as he stood up, stretching himself.

 

“Five… ?”

 

“Let’s go get Vanya first.”

 

And both made their way to Vanya and knocked on her door. They heard some rustling, before the door opened, and seeing her face, Five knew she didn’t sleep as well.

 

“Diego’s next.”

 

Diego has always worried about Klaus. In a weird way, those two got along well.

 

“What do you want?”

 

“We’re getting Klaus,” Five responded, shutting the other up immediately.

 

Vanya tugged at his shirt. “Let’s get Allison as well.”

 

“She would insist on getting Luther, Vanya.”

 

Vanya narrowed her eyes at him, but Five knew she wouldn’t protest. She still didn’t like being near Luther, and she knew Five was right. Allison wouldn’t feel well about leaving Luther in the dark. But the thing is, Luther, whilst having realized that their father is an asshole, still didn’t like going against him.

 

The four of them made their way out, and it’s then when Ben realized something.

 

“Where… where exactly is the mausoleum?”

 

And Five stopped in his tracks to curse himself for being stupid.

 

God, he has never seen a mausoleum.

 

“What… what do you mean? Mausoleum?”

 

Five turned around, as he heard Diego’s voice.

 

Ah, right. They haven’t told the other two where Klaus was.

 

“The old man locked him into a mausoleum, so he could interact with the ghosts.”

 

There was a silence, before Diego looked to the side, discomfort on his face.

 

Vanya gasped quietly. She most likely realized, how similar it sounded to her past situation.

 

“I don’t know where it is, but it can’t be that far. Let’s search.”

 

And he was right, after 35 minutes, they found the building. And well, it looked more creepy than pretty to him.

 

“Number Two, Five, Six and Seven, what are you doing out of your beds?”

 

And they turned around to see Reginald looking at them coldly. Five wanted to slap himself. Of course, the old man noticed they were gone. Cameras and all that shit.

 

Still, he had to say something, because he could see that Diego was mad and Vanya was getting there as well. They couldn’t afford a mad Vanya now. They really couldn’t. But before he could speak up, Ben beat him to it.

 

“We’re getting Klaus,” he uttered and his voice sounded so sharp.

 

And well, if Diego and Vanya were mad, then Ben was ready to murder.

 

“Don’t speak in such a tone with me, Number Six.”

 

“I do-”

 

Five laid a hand over Ben’s mouth before sighing. He could feel a headache approach.

 

“I apologize in behalf of all us four,” he interrupted, ignoring the various protests of Diego and Vanya, “but we worried about Klaus since he’s been gone for two whole days, which has never happened before.”

 

“You four are getting punished accordingly after dinner. But very well, rush back to bed now. You’ll see Number 4 at breakfast.”

 

Five had to drag Ben away, followed by Vanya and Diego. Except he stopped them behind another building. He wanted to know why their father sent them away. It would be just more simple to let them take Klaus back with them, considering Klaus was going to be shaken up like he always was after extra training.

 

“Five, wh-”

 

“Shut it, Two,” he mumbled back in response.

 

And then minutes passed, before Reginald came outside, followed by Klaus.

 

And the moment Klaus stepped outside, he could hear Vanya inhale.     

 

Because _what the fuck_.

 

Klaus was covered in a lot of blood. Enough blood, that they could see it from this distance. This was not good.

 

_This was not good._

 

So much blood, oh my god, was he going to make it, was he ok, what _the hell, what to do, wh-_

 

“Number Four, move!”

 

Five snapped out of it and then tightened his hold on Ben.

 

“We need to return. Now.”

 

They rushed back to the mansion.

 

Five and Ben made their way into Klaus’ room once again.

 

Five could see the way Ben was pressing his stomach.

 

Klaus didn’t come to his room.

 

He didn’t come to his room and Ben glared at the wall.

 

Five couldn’t do this anymore.

 

* * *

 

Five and Ben made their way downstairs to the dining room, where Luther and Vanya already were. Diego and Allison joined them a few seconds later. Everyone stared at the empty place beside Ben.

 

Allison looked at Ben.

 

_Where’s Klaus?_

 

Ben shook his head.

 

Five frowned at the time.

 

Their father should have been here long before. He turned to Grace who was standing behind him.

 

“Mom, where’s Fa-”

 

And then they all heard a loud crash and something shattering.

 

As the others started moving, he has already jumped to the scene.

 

* * *

 

There’s glass everywhere.

 

“Number Four, stop this instant!”

 

There’s blood everywhere.

 

“What the he- Klaus?!”

 

There were ghosts everywhere.

 

“W-what… in the world?”

 

And everyone could _see_ them, as they flickered in and out of existence.

 

The others arrived at the scene and-

 

“Klaus!”

 

That was Ben’s voice.

 

Klaus tried to stand up. But everything hurt so much.

 

But.

 

The glass was pressing into his soles.

 

_But it hurt._

 

“Number Four!”

 

He had his cane with him.

 

There was screaming.

 

And Klaus saw.

 

Just like he saw in the mausoleum, it flashed before his eyes.

 

And the screaming got louder, which was a relief.

 

His ears still functioned.

 

“Look out!”

 

“Stop this!”

 

“Oh my god, you old basta-”

 

An even louder crash.

 

“Wha…”

 

* * *

 

Around 6:36 am Reginald Hargreeves died.

 

No one ate breakfast that day. No one ate lunch that day. No one ate dinner that day.

 

Klaus sat in the infirmary, his mother treating his wounds.

 

He had a paper and a book underneath it. A pen in his right hand. It hurt but he kept writing.

 

* * *

 

_It was the morning he let me out the mausoleum._

 

_I kept getting memories from a lot of ghosts. I wrote them all down, but only a few left. The rest kept staring at me with confusion, as they continued to scream in agony._

 

_Throughout the next day, some of them vanished as well. I still don’t know why._

 

 _Then I kept seeing the old man die. I don’t know why or how, but it happened - sometimes there’s a scary, unwell feeling you feel when you look someone into their eyes. I had that feeling even though I didn’t see him for over 30 hours. Or 40, I'm not too sure anymore._ ("54 hours, Klaus," Ben muttered, sitting beside him, clutching onto him, "54 hours.")

 

_This is the official second chapter of the book since I haven’t written the scribbles in the mausoleum onto paper yet. This is a ghost story as well though._

 

_That’s the whole point of this book._

 

_This about the death of Reginald Hargreeves, my adoptive father - even though I don’t really see him as a father. Or anything like a parent. In fact, he should never have gotten custody of children in my opinion._

 

_Still, if you knew him, you’d think it would be impossible for him to die._

 

_Then you would want to know how he died._

 

_And after you found out it was a murder._

 

_Well, who was the murderer and how?_

 

_And why? But do you really need to ask why?_

 

_Death chooses the ones it doesn't fancy after all._

 

* * *

 

 

The official chapter 2 turned into unofficial chapter 2 because Klaus Hargreeves could never publish it - it was too much of a family secret to do so.

 

* * *

 

 

**secret**

_noun_

  1. **_something that is or is kept secret, hidden, or concealed._**

  2. _**a mystery: **the secrets of nature._




**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yay, Reginald died!
> 
> But also, nay, because wow, the timeline is more than fucked up now - except no one gives a fuck anymore.
> 
> To be honest, it's midnight and I wanted to post this chapter at 10pm, but then I wrote a new story, and spent like two hours thinking of a title. I suffer daily.
> 
> Have a good day! Maybe share your thoughts?


	6. Realisieren

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Klaus talks with someone familiar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: The act of choking once again mentioned.

“The legal documents should be taken care for,” Pogo told them, that it would only take a few days for Grace to get legalized documents and then custody of them.

 

Ben knew that would have been normally work that'd have taken weeks, so he was grateful that their father and Pogo had some connections.

 

“So… now only the funeral?” he asked, just to be sure.

 

“Yes, Master Ben. Only the funeral, then everything should be taken care of.”

 

“... Thanks. I'll go talk with Klaus.”

 

And then he rushed up to Klaus’ room, where their mother, Allison and Five were. Five noticed him immediately and stood up and left the room to talk with him.

 

“He's got a bit of ear damage. To be honest, Mom was surprised it wasn't a lot worse.”

 

Ben blinked. “He’s still able to hear properly, right?”

 

Five nodded. He looked tired. The last days have taken a toll on him. Especially with the timeline being more than messed up at that point.

 

“Yes, but he's going to have to be careful from now on.”

 

Ben sighed. “The ghosts are constantly screaming, Five. He's not getting any rest neither are his ears.”

 

Five frowned, before he spoke up, "What about the book writing thing?"

 

Ben shook his head, "I heard him muttering about writing every ghosts story on a wall in the… mausoleum."

 

Now Five seemed worried. "It… it didn't work?"

 

"I'm not sure."

 

"... What didn't work?"

 

Both turned around to look at Allison, who was staring at them with suspicion.

 

"So? Would anyone of you enlighten me?"

 

Five sighed. "We are still not sure."

 

"But you know something." She narrowed her eyes at them.

 

"Well," Ben spoke up, looking to where Klaus was, "he found a potential way to get rid of the ghosts."

 

"What? Are you for real?"

 

"Yes," he replied.

 

Five sighed. “We have to ask him about it though, it’s still unclear how it works. Let’s not make any rash assumptions.”

 

Now it was Allison who was frowning.

 

“Where… where was he the last two days?”

 

Before Ben or Five could answer, someone else spoke.

 

“I’d like to know as well.”

 

Luther stood beside Allison, looking at the ground. He seemed troubled, something must have been bothering him since the whole ordeal. Well, it was probably their father’s death.

 

“He was locked in the local family mausoleum,” Ben replied, glaring at a wall.

 

Still mad about it. Understandable.

 

Five shook his head. “We are getting nowhere. I mean, this didn’t happen in the last timeline. Well… at least not for two whole days.”

 

“Sure as hell didn't. The old bastard also didn’t die last time either,” Diego muttered as he walked to them, Vanya in tow.

 

Ah, right. He was dead now.

 

Five kept forgetting to be honest.

 

“Let’s go downstairs,” Allison suggested, “I don’t really want to upset Klaus.”

 

“Being left out is gonna upset him. Remember what happened to Vanya?” Diego said, before turning to Vanya. He mumbled, “Sorry.”

 

She rolled her eyes at him, before sighing. “Idiot.”

 

Five really liked this Vanya more than the one on pills. Even if this Vanya was mad at him. Seeing Ben and Allison’s smiles, he assumed they did too.

 

“Let’s just go eat something for now,” Ben said. He looked around before smiling. “No one has eaten yet, right?”

 

“Oh, I’ll make you something to eat, children.”

 

Their mother stepped out of Klaus’ room, closing the door behind her.

 

“Don’t worry. He’s just sleeping,” she said, smiling at them.

 

Five narrowed his eyes. “Sleeping? Klaus?”

 

“He’s exhausted, dear.”

 

Ah, right. The two days in the mausoleum thing.

 

“Now, now, come downstairs. You don’t want to wake your brother now, do you?”

 

And they all followed her down to the living room.

 

* * *

 

Klaus slept for 30 minutes before he woke up in cold sweat.

 

“Shit,” he mumbled, looking around his room. God, he hated this. He looked at his hands. They were covered in band-aids. _Right, that happened._ He tried to stand up, only to sit back down, when he realized he couldn’t stand properly. His feet hurt. What in the hell happened?

 

The ghosts were screaming and his ears hurt a lot.

He was going to end up deaf if this didn’t end soon.

 

But the book… it wasn’t working? Or well, not fully?

 

What was not working? What did he do wrong?

 

 _“Help,_ ” a voice whispered.

 

He looked to his side, to see a ghost. What the fuck.

 

He remembered that ghost!

 

_From the mausoleum, that is._

 

How did it follow him back here?

 

 _“Please… save me… I… didn’t want to… I,”_ it continued to whisper.

 

It was whispering? Why? He asked it as much and the ghost was pointing at its ears.

 

What?

 

Oh.

 

_Oh._

 

Klaus smiled at the ghost, before he spoke up, “You’re one of the pleasant ones. I guess I could try? Can’t promise much though.”

 

The ghost seemed… to perk up at that?

 

“Come here,” he mumbled, reaching out with his hand. The ghost grabbed it and the memories flooded him, without a second to spare.

 

_A little boy was screaming._

 

_“Stop!”_

 

_“Mom, d-don’t… please”_

 

_A woman was choking the boy._

 

The memory vanished immediately because Klaus remembered.

 

“You’re the ghost that strangled me in the mausoleum, aren’t you?”

 

The ghost seemed guilty, so Klaus waved his hand, a smile on his face.

 

“Don’t worry, I don’t hold grudges. Well… except you’re my dad, but you aren’t! Congrats!”

 

But then he started to frown as he remembered a bit more.

 

“But I tried writing it down for you, you know? It didn’t work?”

 

The ghost seemed down at that.

 

The other ghosts started to scream louder.

 

“Seriously? Don’t you all need to take a fucking break or something? You’re not in an opera! And if you were, they’d fire you immediately, because all you do is scream!”

 

The ghost beside him seemed a bit sheepish and Klaus guessed it was because he also screamed at Klaus before.

 

“Don’t worry your forgiven, buddy. Since you stopped screaming and all.”

 

The ghost looked happy at that.

 

“Maybe I need to write it down on paper?”

 

He tried standing up and it worked out for him. Somewhat. Klaus made his way to his desk and sat down, gathering a paper and a pen. He looked at the ghost.

 

“It was your own mother, right?”

 

The ghost nodded at him, his expression seemed pained.

 

Yeah, shitty parents did that to you.

 

“It didn’t work out last time… but like for some it did. So, I don’t know. Maybe it depends on what I write or with what? Like you know, writing on paper might be stronger than on stone? Or I need ink for it?”

 

The ghost looked thoughtful and for a moment Klaus wondered.

 

How would his life have been, if every ghost was like that. It would have been a lot better, that’s for sure. Maybe even fun? It seemed unlikely to him, but still.

 

He shook his head.

 

No time to wonder about that.

 

“I’m going to write it down now, buddy.”

 

And then he started.

 

* * *

 

_Maybe because the world was a scary place, but he always feared his mother, when she had that one look in her eyes._

 

_Sometimes she would smile at him with that warm smile of hers. That was when his sister still was around._

 

_Then she wasn’t around anymore and his mother’s smile turned cold._

 

_He didn't see the signs at first. Or maybe he just preferred to ignore them all._

 

_He paid the price with hands around this throat, her crazy eyes and her cold smile._

 

_Then she pressed and he forgot how to scream._

 

_He forgot how to breathe._

 

_And eventually, he forgot how to live._

 

* * *

 

 _The Boy who Strangled_ was the official second chapter of this book.

 

“Here, read it?”

 

And the ghost did.

 

Then came the cold realization, that it didn’t matter with what he wrote or on what he wrote.

 

The ghost looked at him, still there.

 

_“Why… why… I’m still here… ?”_

 

Klaus honestly didn’t know.

 

* * *

 

 

**realize**

_verb_

  1. _**to grasp or understand clearly.**_
  2. _**to make real; give reality to (a hope, fear, plan, etc.).**_
  3. _**to bring vividly to the mind.**_



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, guess banishing ghosties with writing alone doesn't work? The story is still about him writing their memories down, but he needs to know why he does it and why it works.
> 
> Eh, he'll find out eventually, or... ?
> 
> Have a good day!!


	7. Tschüss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Klaus figures it out.

After they went downstairs, they settled in the living room and Grace went to the kitchen, in order to make something to eat.

 

Diego looked after her. “I’m going to help her out.”

 

“In a bit,” Five muttered, “right now we should really discuss the last days.”

 

Vanya frowned at that. “We should wait for Klaus to wake up.”

 

“Yeah, for the mausoleum discussion maybe. But about father’s dead.”

 

And now everyone shut up, remembering just what happened.

 

“... No… no, let’s wait until Klaus is awake. Especially for the murder discussion.”

 

Ben never thought Luther would be the one to say that, but here they were. He could see Vanya frowning at Luther and guessed she was just as surprised.

 

It was silent for the next few minutes, everyone was caught up in their thoughts, unsure what to make out of the situation. God, it has barely been three days.

 

So much could change in three to four days.

 

Ben knew Five was worried about what would happen to them, now where the timeline was messed up. He had every right to be worried because none of this should have ever happened.

 

And still.

 

He was so relieved the old man was dead.

 

He was so relieved one of them could kill him, despite everything standing against it.

 

He was so relieved the asshole was gone now, unable to hurt any of them further.

 

"This is clearly not going anywhere," muttered Diego, as he stood up and walked to the kitchen.

 

It must be annoying for him, that he had to agree with Luther.

 

Five sighed once again. "Okay, let's wait."

 

Everyone vanished to do something. Only Five, Luther and himself remained in the living room.

 

Five frowned as he looked at Luther.

 

Luther just… looked at the ground.

 

Ben couldn't help wonder if this was his wake up call. It certainly wouldn't do him bad to actually question what was happening.

 

"How do you feel about this all?" Five kept looking at the other.

 

"I… it doesn't make sense to me," he replied. "Why in the world would Father lock him into a mausoleum?"

 

"Why would you lock Vanya into the vault?" Ben asked instead.

 

"But… that was for a completely other… reason… or?"

 

"The intentions might have been different, but the action itself was still cruel," Five explained, narrowing his eyes at the other.

 

As Luther looked shamefully at the ground, Ben couldn't help but be happy. That only meant Luther could learn from his past mistakes.

 

"If you still don't get it, Luther," Ben spoke up, getting the other two's attention, "consider asking Van- well, not yet - ask Klaus instead, how he felt every time he was locked up. Sure, he had the added bonus of ghosts, but the two should have some similarities. Mostly the panic, I guess."

 

People were different, so of course, they didn't fully experience it the same way, but their fears must have been similar. It would be a good start for Luther to realize, why exactly Vanya didn't like being caged in. It's not like Luther was evil, he just had a hard time grasping what counted as abuse, thanks to their father.

 

"Children, the food's ready!"

 

Before he knew it, everyone except Klaus was at the table, chatting and eating.

 

* * *

 

One hour after they let Klaus upstairs to sleep, they heard a crash.

 

One hour and he came rushing down into the kitchen, face in pain and full of tears, the bandages around his arms and feet were red and blood trailed down his left ear.

 

Ben stood up immediately, running to his side.

 

"What the hell happened?" Diego looked with shock at the other.

 

"It won't work," Klaus said, lifting his hands and that's when Ben saw them. _Imprints and bruises_. "They just won't shut up!" he shouted, covering his ears, and almost dropping to his knees, if it wasn't for Ben.

 

Vanya stood up as well now and their mother came back in with the medical kit.

 

"What won't work?" Vanya asked quietly.

 

"I wrote it down s-so many times. The way he died. God, I have it craved in my memories by now!"

 

Ben clutched him tighter, the moment Klaus fully started sobbing.

 

"Let's sit down and get a look at your wounds," Grace said and Ben helped her, with carrying Klaus to a chair.

 

Allison looked at Five. "Explain. _Now."_

 

“He… he found this method of helping the ghosts, but it seems like it’s not working.”

 

“What’s the method?” Vanya kept staring at Klaus, his outburst repeating itself in her head.

 

“Writing down their deaths.”

 

“What?!” Diego was now glaring at Five. “That’s fucked up, he doesn’t know how they died!”

 

Five shook his head. “He sees their memories.”

 

“Stop talking as if I’m not here!”

 

Everyone turned to look at Klaus, who was glaring at them all.

 

“It works! Just not for every ghost, and I don’t know why!”

 

Silence filled the room and everyone kept their mouth shut, except Klaus, who was muttering something to the air beside himself.

 

“No, it’s gotta work… somehow… it has… no, no. Don’t worry... “

 

“Klaus…?” Ben looked at him with worried eyes.

 

“Don’t worry, Ben. I’m fi- No, shut the hell up!”

 

“I don’t get it,” Vanya spoke up. “It was never as bad this before.”

 

_What changed?_

 

* * *

 

The ghosts wouldn't keep shut.

 

Everyone was screaming louder. Except for the boy that got strangled.

 

He kept staring at Klaus, hoping to get help. Klaus would love to help him, _he really would_ -

 

Wait.

 

When did he start to like it?

 

His mind was a mess of thoughts, questions with the need for answers and screaming.

 

_“I’m sorry…”_

 

“No, don’t apologize.”

 

His mother finished changing the bandages and Ben kept holding his hand.

 

The ghost was crying. Well, not really, but still.

 

_It looked so sad._

 

He wanted to help - for the first time in his life - so much. He really wanted and he tried so much, but just maybe.

 

“I can’t… why can’t I…”

 

_“... Klaus?”_

 

“... Klaus?”

 

The ghost and Ben spoke at the same time, and Klaus was reminded of the times, that Ben was a ghost.

 

He tried to help him too.

 

Oh god, he tried to help him too but failed.

 

Because Ben didn’t want to go.

 

Ben didn’t want to leave.

 

_“I’m sorry… Klaus…”_

 

He couldn’t help someone that didn’t want to be helped.

 

But the ghost wanted help?

 

Then what?

 

_“Klaus?”_

 

Maybe it was him?

 

Maybe he couldn’t help them.

 

“I’m sorry… I don’t think… you need my he…”

 

_“...Klaus?”_

 

“... Need.”

 

“Klaus?” Right, Ben.

 

When he was a ghost, he didn’t leave because he _wanted_ to stay.

 

The other ghosts couldn’t leave, thought they _needed_ his help.

 

**_“I’m staying, because I refuse to leave you all alone.”_ **

 

Ben. Ben. _Ben._

 

Ben could have left all the time, but he didn’t because of Klaus.

 

_The ghosts could have left all the time, but they didn’t because of Klaus._

 

The reasons were different, but it worked just the same.

 

He stood up, ignoring Ben telling him to sit down, and turned to the ghost.

 

_Telling him alone wouldn’t work._

 

“I’ll write you one last story. Feel free to haunt me if it doesn’t work.”

 

“Klaus!”

 

He glanced at Ben.

 

“I’ll be back.”

 

And then he rushed upstairs, ghosts following behind him. He could hear Ben run after him. Once in his room, he locked the door.

He needed to write it down.

 

Papers and pens were still on his table, so he sat down, grabbing some random pencil.

 

And he started writing, the yelling of the ghosts and shouting of his family, creating the perfect background music.

 

In the middle of it, Five jumped into his room.

 

“God, everyone’s so loud,” he muttered.

 

“Be happy, you don’t hear the ghosts as well,” Klaus replied.

 

Five sat down on his bed.

 

“They told me to open the door.”

 

Klaus smiled. “You won’t do it though.”

 

“No,” Five said, smirking, “I don’t feel like opening it.”

 

They sat, surrounded by noise, for the next 30 minutes before Klaus stopped writing.

 

“I’m done, buddy. Wanna read it now?”

 

The ghost looked at the paper and read.

 

* * *

 

_Then she pressed and he forgot how to scream._

 

_He forgot how to breathe._

 

_And eventually, he forgot how to live._

 

_And did he forget._

 

_He was a ghost, free of mind, free of the body, free of wishes and aspirations._

 

_He was free of life, and he could never return to its cages._

 

_His words didn’t reach anyone, so they didn’t have any effects._

 

_His dreams wouldn't come true anymore, not for him at least, so they lost their meaning._

 

_Everything that bound him to life has fallen apart, at its core was he, forgotten or remembered, he wasn’t anymore._

_  
_ _But then, then he found a reason to stay._

 

_His reason ended up being a child around his age._

 

_“Maybe he can help me?”_

 

_But with what?_

 

_The ghost didn’t know._

 

_With what?_

 

_What needs helping at this point?_

 

_Everything’s gone for the ghost._

 

_“I can’t help you,” mumbled the child._

 

* * *

 

 

“I can’t help you,” whispered Klaus.

 

* * *

 

 

**goodbye**

_interjection_

  1. **farewell (a conventional expression used at parting).**



 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wooo, he figured it out! I explain it properly in the next chapter.
> 
> So, now this is out of the way, we going down-hill into the _How-to-deal-with-messing-your-local-timeline-up by Five Hargreeves!_
> 
> Fact about the German word of this chapter: If you'd use the google translator, you would get "auf Wiedersehen". It's not wrong, but it would be a more accurate translation for, "See you again" in my own opinion. Because that's what auf Wiedersehen kind of means. Of course, it can be used as just a polite remark in that sense, by like store clerk, in the hope that you come back or because it's just polite. But Klaus doesn't want to see the ghosts again and "Tschüss" is a more causal of saying bye.
> 
> There was also, "Lebewohl" which can be translated to "Life well." You don't wanna say that to a ghost. 
> 
> Also!! Next chapter gets the P.o.V of someone who new for a part of it! Can you guess who?


	8. Tot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day of realizations.

Ghosts have a pretty hopeless and useless existence.

 

That’s what Klaus learns that day.

 

Ghosts were just there because some part of them refuses to go. It wasn’t anything like, deeds left undone, that has to be finished, or last farewells or even some stupid revenge on some idiotic killer.

 

It is just, _you’re dead now, move on_.

 

That’s all there is to dying. God, that’s all there is to death.

 

He has seen lots of ghosts vanish over time as well, and it’s clear now why.

 

Those ghosts have realized that being dead means, that you cannot go back to life (except you’re him, but Klaus is pretty sure that’s another whole topic).

 

Life shoves you away and death accepts you - but only in return of you accepting death.

 

That’s the moment when Klaus understands, with a cold shiver and a strangled fear, they never move on because of 

_him_.

 

Ben told him he radiated some kind of warmth to ghosts, to the death and now Klaus fully understands what that he meant when he said that.

 

What it means is, that they feel his warmth and get hope, then come screaming at him, desperation laced in their wails. It is a call for help, a call for peace, _a call for life._

 

And it fucking sucks, because the thing is, Klaus cannot even help himself, on the best days. _He used to be homeless for God’s sake!_

 

He doesn’t know how to take care of himself, most of the time Ben does that for him, a habit from all his years as ghost following Klaus around - except Ben’s now overjoyed, because he can actually hug and slap Klaus when he needs it (though the slap was apparently a one-time thing, _how boooring_ ).

 

He’s barely alive, so how the fuck, do they think he’s going to help them achieve life or whatever the fuck they want? How do they honestly believe, that he out of all people on this godforsaken earth, is their call for help, their only hope?

 

He’s no one’s hope, he’s barely on his feet.

 

And now he finds it frustrating because why the fuck, does he have to suffer for something, he cannot even really fix? God, all those screams, all those heart-piercing confessions and memories, his slowly deafening ears and he’s scraped knees and the scratches on his arms. The blue imprints around his neck, and the red eyes from all his tears.

 

He needs just as much help as they do and it’s irritating, that only because they cannot move on, they put all the blame on him, even though they themselves have chosen to stay!

 

“Klaus?”

 

What did he do to deserve all those years and times locked in the fucking mausoleum, begging for them to stop screaming, to leave him alone, because he can’t grant their wishes, can’t bring them back and he’s definitely not at fault for their death.

 

“... Klaus?”

 

And that is the most horrible thing about the whole situation. Every time his siblings killed someone, he had to deal with the consequences - all those fucking ghosts they left behind, focused on him and then either proceeded to blame him for their death or explain to him in detail, how they would kill his siblings. What kind of fucked up situation was that? When he was 10 years old, he knew how to torture and kill people in over 500 ways.

 

He didn’t even know there were so many methods before, but now he knows that those aren’t even a fraction of all.

 

It’s so sickening, there was a time when he stopped looking at his siblings, because every time he did, he remembered all the ways the ghosts would kill them if they could, all the details and all the pain. Sometimes, he even imagined it and those were the days he hated himself the most.

 

All those damn years, and now he finally knows, it’s just a fucked-up cur-

 

“Klaus!”

 

He blinks before he glances to his side, where Five is standing, an arm held out, about to touch him. Then he looks around the room - filled by ghosts like always - and sees the paper with the story of the ghost boy.

 

The ghost boy, who is missing, which means he probably moved on.

 

“Klaus… are you okay?”

 

He looks once again at Five before he nods slowly.

 

“I now know.”

 

And Five’s smart, so he picks up right away, what Klaus means.

 

“How?”

 

Klaus smiles, and he knows it must look bitter and cold because Five seems disturbed by the expression he makes.

 

“I have to remind them that they are dead.”

 

That’s all he says because it’s the ultimate truth.

 

They stay and they forget what they are - that’s okay, he’ll make sure they remember it.

 

_Years upon years of suffering._

 

He walks up to the paper and picks it up.

 

He was always has feared them, still does, but they kept on screaming and bothering him anyway.

 

So, he’ll just show them how all those years felt to him.

 

* * *

 

Vanya comes upstairs, to see Ben standing in front of Klaus' room.

 

“Are you okay?”

 

She knows he isn’t, but it won’t hurt to ask.

 

“Klaus won’t open the door and… and I’m not sure if he’s okay,” Ben mutters bitterly, looking at the door like it is his worst enemy. Then again, it’s the reason he can’t talk to Klaus, so maybe it is.

 

“Five jumped in the kitchen,” she answers instead.

 

“I would love to have his ability,” he responded, before sighing.

 

They stand there in awkward silence for the next 20 minutes, and Vanya realizes, that she still doesn’t get along with everyone very much. Ben and she used to be close in the previous timeline, but everything has changed. The only person she’s really close with right now is Allison.

 

She knows that it’s her fault to a part, too stubborn to talk with everyone.

 

And still - she can’t stop herself anymore.

 

Then the door opens and Ben rushes in without hesitation, whilst she follows, still unsure if she should, but Five packs her arm, drags her in and locks the door immediately, the moment he hears the others rush up the stairs.

 

“Too much people won’t do right now.”

 

“We are three pe-”

 

“Yeah, Ben and Klaus are basically one person at the time.”

 

She rolls her eyes and punches him slightly in the arm. “They are separate beings, Mister Genius,” she mutters.

 

Then she looks towards Klaus’ bed, where he sits, paper clutched in his hand, Ben beside him, trying to calm him down.

 

“He…,” she trails off because she doesn’t know what to say.

 

“He looks horrible, and to be honest, he has all right too.”

 

Ben stares at Five, confusion in his eyes. “Why?”

 

“Apparently the ghosts are only here, because Klaus is, instead they would have moved on years ago.”

 

And Vanya draws in a breath at that. _What the hell?_

 

“What the hell,” mumbles Ben just a second later.

 

* * *

 

“They locked the door,” Allison states, looking at the door with distaste.

 

“Of course they did, because why the fuck not.” Diego sighs before he sits down on the floor. “Guess we are waiting here now.”

 

Luther wants to protest, he can see that, but he ends up saying nothing.

 

“Children,” he speaks up. “We need to talk about your father.”

 

They all stare at him, discomfort on their faces and he understands. He knows they don’t care much about their father, and as much as he hates to admit it, Pogo knows that it’s mutual. Reginald was a bad father, but he wasn’t a completely horrible one, so Pogo shut his mouth, all the time he should have spoken up.

 

“I’m going to think of a way to fake his death,” he tells them, “and then I’ll get Grace identity documents.”

 

Diego looks up at that, staring at Pogo, searching for any lies probably, before he speaks up, “Can you lower her restrictions or something? So, that she can go out and all that stuff?”

 

“Of course,” he responds. At that, Diego brightens up.

 

“What.. what about his funeral?” asks Luther.

 

“It will happen after everything around his death is cleared.”

 

That’s enough of an answer for Luther because he nods and then looks away.

 

All three of them seem uncomfortable when talking about Reginald’s death, but especially so, seems the murderer.

 

And Pogo cannot blame the children, for this is what they have been trained for.

 

And maybe, just maybe, his old master had it coming.

 

* * *

 

**dead**

_adjective, **dead-er, dead-est**_

  1. _**no longer living; deprived of life: **dead people; dead flowers; dead animals._
  2. _[brain-dead](https://www.dictionary.com/browse/brain%20death)._



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I just went from past tense to present tense, because I'm a fucking liar and the past like 7 chapters + this one have been a whole ass introduction arc. It's over for real now, next chapter is the murder of Reginald and stuff.
> 
> This chapter's word is dead!! Which is translated to _tot_! Remember, with _t_ at the end! Because death means in German _Tod_ with _d_ at the end! I'm telling you this, because one of the future chapters is going to be titled Tod fdsgdf. Anyway I need to catch up on some school work now, even tho it's 8pm fjdshfgjsd.
> 
> Anyway, have a great day! May the stars shine extra bright for you this coming night!


	9. Mord

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And the mystery killer is...

Allison looks at Klaus and tries not to glance away.

 

She looks at Klaus and sees, what she hasn’t seen before. Buried deeper in meaningful conversations, hidden behind weird statements and jokes. She sees it now, the way his flinching makes sense, the way his eyes move from space to space, never staying for too long. Or the way his fingers shake, as he grabs the cup of tea, biting his lips and sighs.

 

She never asked herself way his body temperature was always that cold, and mom didn’t react to it.

 

She never asked herself why the air was always so crisp around him.

 

She never quite managed to believe that the things he whispered meant something.

 

It was so easy to write him off at that time, it was _too_ easy. She wonders now though, how she will move on, how he will move on, _how every one of them will move on._

 

All that’s left of their nightmares is the corpse of their dead father.

 

A quiet reminder, a freezing and tragic reminder, but yet so relieving, it feels like they have broken the most important rules, and got away with it.

 

His dead body, that laid on the ground, surrounded by glass shards.

 

The way Klaus sat on the floor, shards digging into the skin, his eyes dull as he looked at the man, who they all despised.

 

The cane was in Five’s hand, red from blood.

 

Five was glaring, was always so concerned about them, even when he hid it.

 

It was so cold and yet so warm.

 

The sun shined and Five dropped that cane, his eyes colder than the winter. Then he stared up at them and said it without an ounce of hesitation.

 

“He deserved this.”

 

Allison couldn’t blame him, no one of them could.

 

* * *

 

They are in the living room and he can legit _feel_ everyone stare at him - it's getting really unnerving, and Klaus feels like standing up and running away from them all, but Ben's sitting beside him, making sure he's fine and letting his body rest. Klaus can't run away without feeling horribly guilty about it, especially if it's affecting Ben. That's why he stays and suffers through it all.

 

His gaze wanders around the room until they settle onto Five, who's been sighing a lot in the previous minutes. They have been talking about the bastard's funeral, Pogo having it already planned. Klaus can’t blame Five for looking uncomfortable, the topic must be really annoying him after all. Still, he wonders what happens now. He’s a bit worried, to be honest.

 

Their father’s death has been classified as a suicide.

 

This is exactly what the old bastard did in the previous timeline, just this time it wasn't suiciding and the murderer was sitting the room with them.

 

Klaus didn’t blame Diego for throwing that knife. No one of them does.

 

As they also don’t blame Five for using their father’s own cane against him.

 

Still, he remembers it clearly, the way his father eventually got him out of the mausoleum. Dragged him back to the mansion.

 

_“We will need to continue your extra training soon, Number Four. Perhaps the day after tomorrow?”_

 

The way he stopped walking, stopped breathing for a moment. The old man scolding him, and Klaus inching away from him.

 

He remembers the man holding up his cane and the shattering of glass.

 

He remembers his siblings arriving at the scene, to a broken window and Klaus shielding himself remembers the way Five immediately grabbed their father’s cane and attacked, remembers the way a knife came flying in, hitting the old man in his chest area.

 

Klaus has no idea, how the hell Pogo managed to make Reginald’s murder seem like suicide, but then again he’s a speaking chimpanzee and they own a lab in the mansion. There’s some stuff that you sometimes just don’t need to know.

 

Pogo leaves the room, done with talking about the funeral.

 

Ben tightens his hold on Klaus’ hand.

 

He breathes out.

 

* * *

 

“I definitely don’t regret it,” mumbles Diego, sitting beside Five.

 

Five sighs before he shakes his head. “Neither do I.”

 

It’s been an hour since the funeral talk, and normally they’d be training, but they don’t have to do that anymore and it feels weird.

 

It feels weird to be so free.

 

“Are you worried?” Diego asks, looking at his brother.

 

“Hm?”

 

“You always warn us about the timeline messing up, and well…”

 

Five nods his head. “A bit, but not that much anymore. We’ve messed the timeline up already with just existing in this time.”

 

Diego frowns. “What’s going to happen? Something bad?”

 

Five frowns.

 

That’s the thing with time: it plays by its own rules.

 

There’s no guarantee something is going to happen, as there’s no prove nothing is going to happen. Time just does whatever it pleases, and if you disrupt it, you have to pay the consequences.

 

“It’s a bit unclear right now.”

 

He just prays they’ll make it out alive.

 

It’s silent for a few minutes, until the Klaus walks back into the living room, flopping down on the couch, drawing his knees in and sighing.

 

“Are you okay?” Five glances at him.

 

“Me? Don’t worry, brother dearest! I’m doing phenomenal! Just wunderbar!”

 

Then Klaus claps his hands against his ears, and both understand what’s happening.

 

“My lovely friends, just don’t know how to _shut the fuck up!_ ”

 

“We have to do something against that as well. His ears are already damaged enough,” Five mutters.

 

Diego frowns, staring at Klaus. “There’s really no way he can control it?”

 

Five shakes his head. “He’s only able to make them leave by leading them to the realization that they are dead.”

 

“This is so fucked up on so many levels.”

 

“Stop talking about me,” Klaus mumbles, pressing his face into a pillow. “I hear you, my ears aren’t that damaged.”

 

“Yet,” Five says, sighing, before he leans back, looking up at the ceiling. “Noise canceling headphones maybe?”

 

“Well, he couldn’t wear them all the time though,” says Diego.

 

“There’s no permanent solution for this, isn’t there?” Five concludes.

 

“Maybe there is,” adds Ben, who just walked in. “We still don’t know much about how his ability works.”

 

“Maybe the old man knew something?” Diego points out.

 

“Well, he did act like it, that’s for sure,” responds Klaus.

 

Five smirks at, before standing up.

 

“His journals then.”

 

And then he vanishes.

 

* * *

 

 

**murder**

_verb (used with object)_

  1. _**Law. to kill by an act constituting murder.**_
  2. _**to kill or slaughter inhumanly or barbarously.**_



_ verb (used without object) _

  1. _**to commit murder.**_



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hii!! It's been a few days. You see, school has started again for me. So, schedule is gonna be packed, and I actually need to think of an update schedule for this now. I'll let you know after this week, since I'm testing how much time I have to write with workload to do. Also, in May, I have a very unpredictable schedule, especially towards end of May since I'm studying for an English exam, hoping to get a certificate. So, I might like, update irregularly towards the end of May.
> 
> I also have been writing lots of one shots. I got lotsa ideas, and using Google docs, actually helped me to get a order of all my files. But like, new story ideas either get named "Wings!AU" or "fkdlfjsdklgjfsd" and there's no in between, so I suffer.
> 
> Reggie died bc of blood lose (knife knife boi) and getting a cane to the head (five-y). I said chest area, but pls Diego throws accurately. 
> 
> For today's word. Apparently a flock of crows gets called murder, Im. Very impressed, amazed and concerned.
> 
> Have a good day, may the stars shine for you!


	10. Entäuschung

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five finds the journals.

 

Five looks around the office, searching for the damn journals.

 

He’s not sure where Reginald kept the journals, but he remembers Klaus mentioning them and a pearl box.

 

“Maybe I should get Kla…,” he trails off upon something catching his eyes.

 

Behind the damn self-portrait. Something is shining.

 

Five steps closer to it and tries to lift it off the wall.

 

He curses his current body since it takes him a while, but then it falls down on the floor and a bit of the frame cracks.

 

"... He deserved that," Five mutters before he looks at the little fault and smirks in satisfaction.

 

* * *

 

"... Have the ghosts always been that bad?"

 

Diego isn't as cold as he likes to present himself. He loves his family deeply, and Klaus is a part of it.

 

He has always cared for Klaus, even when the other fell further into his addiction and got only worse with time. He has always cared for Klaus despite all that.

 

But he also wasn't ready to accept the addiction, didn't want to acknowledge it, because acknowledging it, meant that it was real and a terrible problem.

 

Diego has always cared, but at the same time, he just couldn’t. The thing is, in the police academy, there were lots of people talking about druggies like they were little bugs to be stepped on. Of course, there were also people who honestly could give less of a fuck about addiction, but Diego chose the assholes as friends. He chose them, because he was out of the house, trying to fit in because the world was everything unknown.

 

And maybe, maybe a part of him hated Klaus for falling into addiction.

 

Yet he never questioned why, and well, that’s the problem now, isn’t it?

 

Klaus is addicted by choice, but it’s his circumstances that lead him to that choice. You can’t use circumstances to excuse actions, but you definitely can’t rule them out, or you’d be just staking problems after problems on a part of the picture instead of the whole.

 

“... Yeah,” responds Klaus, not staring at him. Ben’s hugging him, clearly not over what happened the last days.

 

No one is.

 

Diego thinks about the way his father looked to him when he had the knife in his chest, and he understands.

 

It’s just different.

 

It’s just something.

 

At that moment Five jumps back, a box in his hands and Diego knows that it’s going to hurt.

 

* * *

 

_“Number Four appears to see hallucinations.”_

 

It’s the first thing that’s written in one of the journals dedicated to him, and Klaus knows he won’t like the rest just as much.

 

_“Hallucinations may be an inefficient word for it.”_

 

Five frowns, narrowing his eyes. “Do you remember how he confirmed your ability?”

 

Diego blinked. “Now where you mention it…”

 

Five turns to Klaus, his eyes scanning him. “Seeing the dead isn’t really a tangible ability. How the hell do you even test that out?”

 

It’s the next line that explains, what he doesn’t want to say.

 

_“Is able to describe his dead mother singing him to sleep.”_

 

There’s silence.

 

Then Ben’s clutching him, and Five closes his eyes.

 

Klaus remembers her, remembers her smile and empty eyes, remembers the warmth in her voice.

 

He remembers her leaving.

 

She’s dead - what did he expect? Alive or dead, Ben’s the only one that ever stayed.

 

_“Talks about having a conversation with a recent murder victim.”_

 

_“Number Four presumably has the ability to see the dead - needs further testing.”_

 

_“Has starting summoning training today.”_

 

_“Still not working out.”_

 

_“Could summon a ghost today.”_

 

_“Gave him an ouija board.”_

 

_“Had a ghost strangle him.”_

 

“What the fuck?” whispers Diego.

 

_“Cried about his mother leaving - foolish emotions.”_

 

_“Refused to summon ghosts.”_

 

_“Mausoleum as the next training method.”_

 

Ben’s grip tightens on his arms.

 

“Hey,” Diego speaks,” the date of the extra training starting - isn’t that three days after Five vanished?”

 

Five blinks before re-reading that line and Klaus sighs, knowing exactly what will stand there next.

 

_“Still refuses to summon Number Five - more mausoleum.”_

 

Five almost drops the journal. “What?”

 

Diego takes it and continues to read.

 

_“One week after Number Five’s disappearance, he gives in.”_

 

Then… there are only notes about Klaus’ behavior for a while. Nothing much.

 

And then.

 

_“Summoning room ended up in fire - Number Four couldn't summon Number Five. I take that Number Five attempted time-travel and succeeded.”_

 

Ben looks panicked. “What does he mean with fire?”

 

Klaus doesn’t speak up.

 

_“Nothing much - still fears extra training.”_

 

_“Refuses to fill out the exam papers, even though he has shown great knowledge on the topics before.”_

 

_“Number Six died, I asked Number Four to summon him, but Number Four refused.”_

 

Ben glances at him. Five starts to read again.

 

_“Number Four has been more fidgety nowadays, I assume the drugs are at fault.”_

 

_“Number Four’s able to see Number Six - observations after Number Six’s funeral prove that.”_

 

Diego frowns at that. No one of them believed Klaus whenever he told them, but Klaus tried to keep it a secret from the man and he finds out anyway.

 

_“Number Four recently stopped speaking - spiraling more into that foolish addiction.”_

 

_“Runaway - fitting for my greatest disappointment.”_

 

**My greatest disappointment.**

 

Exactly. Who else?

 

* * *

 

Later that day, he walks into Vanya’s room, Ben trailing behind.

 

“Can we listen?” He asks, voice tired and eyes red.

 

She nods.

 

Then she plays and he gets lost in the melody.

 

He thinks.

 

Thinks about his mother, her smile and her tears. Thinks about the songs she’d sing and about the way she left.

 

Thinks about his siblings, thinks about how they all used to look at him and compares it with how they look at him now.

 

Thinks about the ouija board, laying somewhere under his bed, gathering dust and dirt. He loved it as much as he hated it.

 

Thinks about Ben and how he stayed - stay, stay, stay - even though he’s free.

 

Thinks about the way Diego bit his lip when he heard the things from the journal.

 

Thinks about how Five stared at him for a long time - Klaus knows they’ll have a private talk later.

 

Thinks about the journal, his father’s harsh words - the immediate truth tough.

 

He thinks about the way Vanya plays and plays, her melody light but the meaning dark, her unspoken words louder than any yelling the ghosts could ever produce.

Klaus thinks about how he’s the disappointment and he smiles.

 

* * *

 

 

**disappointment**

_noun_  


  1. ~~**_the act or fact of [disappointing](https://www.dictionary.com/browse/disappoint): _** _All of his efforts only led to the disappointment of his supporters._~~
  2. ~~**_the state or feeling of being [disappointed](https://www.dictionary.com/browse/disappoint): _** _Her disappointment was very great when she didn't get the job._~~
  3. **_a person or thing that [disappoints](https://www.dictionary.com/browse/disappoint): _**_The play was a disappointment._



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! God, it's been a while right?
> 
> That's because I've finally figured out the update schedule! I have like four on-going stories, of which two won't have an update schedule. The other two will be updated once a week - Dictionary of the Dead is one of those, and the official update day will be **Thursday (CEST time zone)!** I can't write much the first three days of a week, and since Thursday is the fourth day of the week, here we are. Note that this doesn't mean there might never be a chapter out on another day - it just won't happen much.
> 
> Next, this story is Klaus-centric, so we'll deal with a heavy amount of Klaus angst, but the others are also getting some angst. Amount wise probably like this: _Klaus - Ben and Five - Vanya - Diego and Luther - Allison._
> 
> Also, we're gonna be back to the main plot of the story in the next chap - Klaus writing a book.
> 
> May the stars shine brightly for you!


	11. Schuld

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some Klaus and Ben interaction.

His method for summoning ghosts was always based on candles and burning incense.  Without those two items, Klaus wouldn’t be able to summon someone — well, that’s not exactly correct. He would be able to summon someone but there would be nothing to properly protect him. So, yes, Klaus doesn’t do summons without candles and incense, because he used to cherish his safety at some point.

 

Still, he hated those damn training summonings more than anything else in the world, even the mausoleum — both were on the scale of horrible and hazard things that happened to him but the mausoleum could never reach séance time.

 

His Dad would always drag him to that room upstairs — on the floor they weren’t supposed to be —  and shove him inside. Sometimes he’d stay. Other times he’d leave and lock him in. Then, Klaus would begin by getting the dark cloak, in the sole closet of the room, and wear it. It had a hood and all. It also was a bit unnecessary most of the times but there were exceptions.

 

Sometimes, you just didn’t want a ghost to know how you look like — it could come back to haunt you, quite literally.

 

Then he would lighten the candles and switch of the lamp in the room. The burning incense came last and finally, his personal hell began.

 

* * *

 

“Summoning room?”

 

They were sitting in his room and Ben was staring at him. Staring at him with all those endless questions, demanding answers and Klaus knows there's no way he could keep this a secret anymore.

 

He was so lucky back then. The summonings stopped by the time Ben died so his brother never saw the horrors that went down in that room.

 

His reaction to the mausoleum was already bad enough. How would he even react to the summonings?

 

"Klaus?"

 

He blinks, focusing on Ben. It's nice to hear his voice in all it's human glory again. Ghosts don't talk like humans, their voices are beyond a living sound.

 

All Klaus has ever heard from the dead were shadows and regrets.

 

"I… it happened before you died."

 

He's not sure how to say this. How to speak it out.

 

But Ben doesn't rush him.

 

"Before the mausoleum," he says, looking at his brother, "I used to have another special training method."

 

He can see the curiosity and shock swirl in Ben's eyes.

 

"Remember when I sometimes used to have these bruises?"

 

Now his eyes widened and Klaus counted.

 

"Did that bastard hit you?! Oh God, how didn't I no-"

 

"No!"

 

That went into a completely different direction but Klaus can't help but smile. Leave it to Ben to worry about him, even though he doesn't deserve it.

 

"There's a room upstairs."

 

He has to say this.

 

"On the floor, we never were allowed on."

 

He has to explain.

 

"... He'd drag me there and then lock me in."

 

He feels so uncomfortable. All those memories that are crashing down.

 

"Then… then…"

 

It's so cold. It's always so damn cold.

 

"... Th-"

 

"... You don't have to tell me, Klaus."

 

He looks at Ben with confusion.

 

"If it's too much, don't tell me. It's okay."

 

He can feel his eyes burning.

 

"Klaus?"

 

_All those times in that damn room._

 

He reaches out to hug Ben.

 

"It's okay."

 

Ben hugs him back and Klaus cries only more.

 

Ben's alive.

 

Ben's here.

 

Ben is still talking to him.

 

"He made me summon ghosts! Ghosts that could touch me!"

 

The guilt owns a place in his heart. All those times he could have granted Ben the ability to touch but he didn't.

 

Ben's hold on him lessens and Klaus feels like dying. This is no one's fault but his.

 

But then—

 

There's a face in his shoulder and something is soaking his shirt.

 

"... Ben?"

 

"... Oh my God… the bruises…"

 

Ben's outright sobbing and Klaus doesn't understand anymore.

 

"We never noticed…"

 

All those words are vanishing.

 

"... I'm sorry, Ben. I was too scared to… "

Ben catches up. He always does.

 

"Idiot… I'm glad you didn't summon me."

 

Klaus doesn't understand.

 

* * *

 

A few days after the ordeal Klaus still feels out of it. Five keeps glancing at him, but there's no approach yet.

 

In the end, he doesn't care that much. Klaus is more occupied with the ghost sitting beside him.

 

They keep staring at him, searching for something. He doesn't know for what, but he hopes they'll leave him alone once they find it.

 

"Aren't you eating, Dear?"

 

He looks at his mom then to his plate.

 

Pancakes.

 

They are not waffles, but he likes them just as much.

 

He hasn't touched them since he sat down at the table.

 

"I... don't feel that hungry."

 

Which is halfway true. He's hungry, but he's just not sure if he'll keep the food down when he sees the ghosts.

 

The ghost beside him is showing their organs very proudly, after all.

 

He's gotten used to some disturbing images but his 13-years-old body still didn't.

 

Ben stares at him with a knowing gaze and he grins in reply.

 

Ben understands.

 

 _They_ sometimes wouldn't let him eat or keep the food down either.

 

Ben smiles back.

 

* * *

 

The ghost keeps following him, so he really has no choice.

 

With a sigh, Klaus turns around to face the ghost. "What do you want from me?"

 

They blink, shaking their head and reaching out with their hand.

 

_"... Help…"_

 

Ah. They must have seen him do his wonders.

 

He narrows his eyes. "Are you sure?"

 

They nod and Klaus knows he cannot escape this anymore.

 

So, he reaches out, linking their hands together and lets the hues surround him.

 

Every memory starts as a dream.

 

* * *

 

_"Please, don't do this…," a gentle voice speaks. Klaus can hear the fear in that voice and it reminds him of himself, years ago._

 

_"Oh, Sweetie, it's for the best."_

 

_A woman walks into the room, a white coat and a clipboard. Her brown hair is in a messy bun, and she's wearing safety goggles. Red lipstick pronounces her smirk._

 

_Klaus wouldn't trust that woman with his life. That shade of red? Horrible._

 

_"I'm sorry… please don't…"_

 

_"Goodnight, Sweetie. Hope you dream well."_

 

_The next 45 minutes were terrible._

 

_After making sure that the kid is unconscious, the woman proceeds to cut the kid's whole stomach open. God, she is extremely lucky, because if she would have done that to Ben she wouldn't have stayed alive._

 

_Anyway, she cut open so many organs, filled them with liquids he didn't know shit about and honestly?_

 

_Klaus wishes he could unsee all that._

 

_At least the kid dies without pain._

 

* * *

 

Every memory ends as reality.

 

* * *

 

** Guilt **

_noun_

  1. **_The fact or state of having committed an offense, crime, violation, or wrong, especially against moral or penal law; culpability:_** _He admitted his guilt._



 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, this chapter is more than late. I had project week last week and instead of posting it on Sunday like I wanted I didn't. 
> 
> Sooo, the plot is picking up a bit. Let's see where it leads us...
> 
> Hope the stars shine brightly for you!!


	12. Denken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Klaus thinks about his situation.

He can't write a book about realities.

 

The ghost left with a smile. It just wanted to be acknowledged, just wanted someone to  _ know. _

 

How many other ghosts think like that?

 

A book about realities wouldn’t do the job, too many risks fading into it, too many secrets that should be kept hidden behind it. He can’t just throw the realities away either. This is a  _ memoir _ for the ghosts. He wants them to be remembered, even if just for a moment, for the blink of a minute, of a second. He wants people to read his book and  _ think _ about the characters in it, about the ghosts that haunted him, left behind in peace after so, so long.

 

Klaus doesn’t know what to do anymore. Everything seems just to get worse and worse every day. There’s too much going on. Too much, just too much. How is he supposed to finish these issues off, to work on this damn book, how is he supposed to make the dead understand that they are dead and there’s no going back?

 

How is he supposed to help anyone when he can’t even help himself most of the time?

 

He’s just some stupid drug addict, spent all his life drugging himself up, trying to kill himself. He _ seeks _ what they have, wants it, but he can’t have it. 

 

If he’d scream now, really loud.

 

Like really, really loud.

 

_ Who would hear him first? _

 

There’s a hanged lady in his room, and he can see the hand of another ghost sticking out under his bed.

 

_ Shouldn’t they all hear him at the same time, if he screams loud enough? _

 

There are papers on his desk. He should get a notebook, he’ll end up just losing all the stories.

 

_ No, no, no! They probably wouldn’t hear him at the same time. _

 

He should go search for Ben. He’s losing his mind to this, losing all his broken pieces.

 

_ Only those who pay attention to him would hear him. Ben, maybe? _

 

How to write it properly? How to write it perfectly? How to write it accurately? How to write it kindly? How to write it cruelly? How? How?

 

How?

 

The words don’t fit. The writing’s too much of a memory. 

 

He wants to scream. There’s a knock on his door and he wants to scream.

He doesn’t scream.

 

But Vanya hears him anyway.

 

* * *

 

“Think about it,” she speaks up, her voice calm, “think about all the things you want to write.”

 

He nods, staring at the blank paper in front of him.

 

“Then,” Vanya says, pointing at the paper, “write down everything you want to write it in keywords.”

 

“Separate them per ghost, Klaus.”

 

“Think clearly about it, okay.”

 

“It doesn’t have to be detailed yet, just write down the crucial parts, Klaus.”

 

He wonders what the crucial parts could be, but it dawns on him eventually.

 

_ Their deaths. _

 

_ Their appearance. _

 

_ Their requests. _

 

“Yeah, just like that.”

 

He finishes the list, staring at the keywords, at the stories. Then he looks up to Vanya and waits for her to talk.

 

She smiles at him. “Good, now… looking at those keywords, if you would me all three ghosts again, how would you convince them that they are dead and need to move on? Think about it for the rest of the day.”

 

He blinks. 

 

Oh.

 

* * *

 

“The funeral’s today,” Allison states, glancing at Diego.

 

The past few days have been… well, they have been a lot. Too much, probably. 

 

Diego doesn’t say anything, just glares at the wall and she understands why.

 

No one wants to attend the funeral except maybe Luther.

 

Vanya, Five and Ben refuse to tell them what’s going with Klaus.

 

Klaus barely left his room the past few days.

 

She thinks about the ghosts and wonders about the past.

 

Back then when they were children, back when Klaus was only the “creepy kid” to her, that she would indulge with her attention out of pity sometimes. She did care for him back then, but she also was scared.

 

Who wouldn't be scared of their sibling when every time you’re around him the whole room seems to be cold? When your brother would look around, biting his lip and nails, and whisper to someone you couldn’t see?

 

Five wouldn’t.

 

Ben wouldn’t.

 

God, she knows she was horrible, knows she shouldn’t have singled him out and let him suffer alone. 

 

Knows that she should have tried.

 

“He deserves to be dead,” Diego finally mutters, glaring at the picture of their father. 

 

They all should have tried.

 

* * *

 

“Klaus?”

 

Ben’s looking at him, visible concern in his eyes.

 

Klaus isn’t sure what he’s doing anymore. He thinks about what he could say to the ghosts, what he could tell them,  _ how he could explain. _

 

But nothing is coming up.

 

“Vanya’s helping me with my book.”

 

“Really? That’s great!”

 

He nods, still frowning. “I… just don’t know how to make the ghosts realize that they are dead.”

 

He looks up at Ben, searching something in his eyes, before he asks, “How did you realize it?”

 

Minutes pass but then his brother answers.

 

“The moment I saw you.”

 

That’s not what he expected.

 

“You… You wore a bright, yellow hoodie that day... and you were grinning at Vanya, as you held those plates in your hands.”

 

He knows. He remembers it vividly, his biggest regret. 

 

“The moment you saw me… the plates shattered on the ground and you stopped smiling… you… yourself just seemed so dead at that moment, you know? As… As if you followed me.”

 

_ As if you followed me. _

 

“...And then I knew I was dead for real.”

 

_ … you… yourself just seemed so dead at that moment, you know? _

 

Klaus closes his eyes–so damn tired–and thinks about it.

 

Are words the only thing he can use?

 

“But in the end, I was just relieved you were alive.”

 

Klaus hates himself.

It’s like a fire burning coldly in his heart, begging him to burn down to ashes. Sometimes he wants to, really wants to be nothing but ashes.

 

Klaus opens his eyes to see Ben smiling gently at him.

 

He can’t burn to ashes though.

 

* * *

 

 

** thinking **

_adjective_

  1. _**rational;  reasoning: **People are thinking animals._
  2. _**[thoughtful](https://www.dictionary.com/browse/thoughtful); reflective: **Any thinking person would reject that plan._



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I'm terribly sorry I can't do schedules properly. Sorry, the chapter legit came out one week later!! I still want to try with the schedule, but I fear I have to wait a bit. There's no way I can update next Thursday because my exam week is starting on Wednesday. 
> 
> Anyway, I wanted to bring this chapter out at least so y'all had something. It's little but Klaus really needs to reflect about this and Ben's death got mentioned a bit!! Cya in two weeks!!
> 
> Hope the stars shine brightly for you!

**Author's Note:**

> God knows, I don't drink coffee but I really need some.
> 
> Most definitions are going to be from here, I feel: https://www.dictionary.com/
> 
> Hope y'all enjoy this, even if only a little, little bit.


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